Hello everyone.  I'm writing this on the eve of Akiles one-year anniversary as an angel (April 28th, 2015). When last we left off I was attacked by Ozzy. He was taken away. I never saw him again. I had no choice in the matter.  I was at an all-time low, losing two dogs in six months, with nothing but scars physically and emotionally.  I stayed at my mom's a few days, unable to take care of myself because of my wounds and when I returned to my home it was like returning to a crime scene. [NOTE FROM BOSTON TERRIER NETWORK: Please read links at end if you are new to the story behind Akiles and Ozzy.]

Adjusting to new realities

I started adjusting to having no dogs in my life, by taking my two stuffed bulldogs and jokingly posting them outside playing, sleeping with me etc. I had to try and laugh or smile and show people that I can get through this. A lot of people look at my posts and positive attitude for inspiration. How would they feel if they saw I was wallowing in sorrow and self-pity and giving them the notion that I gave up? 

Honestly, I thought of just disappearing, but that would mean losing.  I'm not okay with that.  I wasn't sure I would get another dog.  I received several offers of taking in a dog, but I wasn't ready.  I then got one message from a lady in Sarasota and with a picture that instantly told me, yes. 

One plus one equals two

This dog looked exactly like Akiles and I was in tears. The message read, "Hi Robert. I saw what happened to you and how awful people treated and blamed you. I have five bulldogs.  One needs more attention than I can give and he's getting bullied by his litter-mates.  I know you would give him a great life and a lot of love."  I wanted to drive instantly to Sarasota, but because of my injuries, I couldn't. I told her I should be able to drive next week.

I was nervous. I had to take the same route I went to get Ozzy and was overwhelmed with guilt. Please understand I didn't know what the right thing to do was. All I know was coming home to no dog to love was awful. Though I rescued Ozzy right after Akiles passed, this was a different situation. Before going to get him, I stopped to meet a wonderful woman that I knew through Facebook who was very supportive during my attack, just to have breakfast and talk. 

I was stalling to see this new bully.  I finally got to the house and met Dexter.  He was docile and I was confused.  After spending time with him, the lady hoodwinked me! She also suggested that I should also take the female named Josie. She said these two are always together. I nervously laughed. TWO DOGS...AFTER WHAT I WENT THROUGH!!! 

Of course, I said yes, I couldn't separate them. I said my mom's going to kill me. But as me and my sister would do as kids, I knew once she saw them she'd understand. My mom was interested in dogs since she's retired and both my grandparents passed. So my thought was she could have Josie.  They would still see each other a lot.

I left with both dogs and I felt bad. Dexter was very scared and Josie was just like, "Whatever. Road trip? Let's go".  We got home and my mom and stepdad fell in love with both and wanted Josie, but they were in the process of selling the house, so they couldn't take her yet.  I said okay I'd take care them till the house is sold.  Yeah right, I ended up keeping both.

I picked them up on a Saturday. The first night they just looked at me like "Who the hell are you?"  It was that uncomfortable silence you get when you're in an elevator full of people. I let them take their time to get comfortable.  I knew everything would be okay. 

I decided how to introduce Dexter and Josie to our friends on social media. People thought I had lost it posting stuffed bulldogs. The decision was made, like the movie Ted, they would just come to life one day.   

Ozzy went to the bridge on Tuesday. I got the call at work from Roberta (the lady who got me Ozzy) it had been done.  I broke down. She reassured me Ozzy wasn't alone. He had taken to one of the workers there who was with him.  I went to animal control to thank this person. I was told to leave it wasn't allowed.  I tried everything to be there. I was told due to liability issues, it wasn't permitted.  Maybe it was for the best. 

Big Daddy Dashing Dexter and Jubilant Josie

I went home to Big Daddy Dashing Dexter and Jubilant Josie. I wasn't going to debut them for two months but after three weeks something changed my mind.  I went to the beach restaurant with Josie and Dexter where I would take Ozzy. While there I got an awful message from someone about Ozzy.  I couldn't believe what they said and I broke down in tears. They made me doubt myself.  I said to myself. "No!!! My life! My terms!"  Josie and Dexter did nothing wrong and they deserve to be introduced.  I got home put them in the RV and started recording and my intro was, "Guys you won't believe what happened while I was out. My stuffed bulldogs came to life!"  The response was positive and overwhelming. People were so happy for me. I remember someone saying, "Go Big or Go Home, Nice Job"

I needed something for these guys.  Akiles was 'music videos'. Ozzy was 'trailer park boy chronicles'.  I started 'Life lessons' with Josie and Dexter. I give them awful and funny advice ones based on my past experiences. They sit there and look at me while I talk to them. It's funny I guess. Because that's what bulldogs do, make things funny.  I am feeling great. I have the dogs I need at this point in my life. 

Robert...with the memories of AKILES and Ozzy in foreground and JOSIE and DEXTER  in arms. 

 'Silly Akiles' our Facebook page, was back to making people smile, laugh and encourage rescuing dogs. In the short time I have had Dexter and Josie, I found two dogs forever homes.  Kobe who I raised money for and transported him to California to a woman who lost her dog. I was trying to pay it forward.  

  

Everything is going great right?

The worst is far behind me. Wrong.

Life decided to throw something new at me. PTSD and nightmares of Ozzy attacking me every night. I was afraid to go to sleep. 

Well, like I said you can run but eventually you run out of room to hide. I had a dream, I was watching a little boy play with a dog, and all of a sudden I saw the boy get viciously attacked. I ran and didn't help the boy. I hid and the dog found me and attacked. I went through a FOUR-day anxiety attack.  If I went to sleep, I would get attacked. It felt like a Freddy Krueger movie.  I was overwhelmed with guilt about a dream. If it happened in real life, would I freeze or help the boy? 

Weird how this happened

I took a break from social media.  I wasn't right. I needed to address this issue.  I saw months of therapy ahead of me etc. Two weeks later I was at work. I heard dogs barking. It was four German Shepherds. Remembering my nightmares, dread fell over me. I said to myself this dream is about to happen.  I saw a boy walking, waving a stuffed animal.  I saw a lady fall, losing control of two of her dogs, eager to get that toy. I ran near to the woman telling her to get rid of the stuffed animal.  She didn't know what was happening, but I did. Competition is a strong motivation, the dogs wanted the stuffed animal. She hid it, the dogs stopped.  I didn't freeze, I was able to react!!!! Since that day I have felt cured. I came to terms with the guilt of being unable to save Ozzy. I believe my reoccurring dream prepared me for this moment. Crazy I know.

Like Josie says, "Whatever. Road trip? Let's go"
I had planned a road trip with Ozzy, but that wasn't going to happen where I was going to drive, stop, meet people on the way to New York and raise money for rescues. Instead, I took Josie and Dexter to North Carolina to a three day Bulldog Rescue Party called Bullie Que by Bullies to the Rescue.  What a blast. I asked people to donate and we raised over $300 in Memory of Ozzy. I called our trip Ozzy's memorial road trip. We met so many people we had never met in person and it was great.  We call ourselves The Three Amigos and it's a hit.


So what's next for Three Amigos?

I don't know and that's the fun thing about life. I do see a lot of fun ahead for the Three Amigos. 

Though there was a backlash about Ozzy, my writing his story has more people coming out about their dogs being aggressive and asking for help. With the help of Boston Terrier Network, and co-founder Lori, who is experienced in this behavior area, I have been able to direct people to her. Dogs have been uncovered with other issues and saved from going to the rainbow bridge.

People say I'm cocky and arrogant, I say 'confident'.  If I was female, I would be called a 'drama queen' (I say honest, and speak from the heart.)

I learned this past year, people will believe what they want. It's out of my control. I'm okay with who I am and I know everything I do is with pure intention. I know I make a difference in peoples and dogs lives.  Life doesn't stop for us so why should we stop for it? 

People thought I didn't mourn Ozzy. Falling into a depression and sorrow doesn't honour him or Akiles, moving forward and continuing to help does.  I keep their memory alive on my Facebook page. I focus on the fun times.  I think this will be the last story for a while. My goal is to get all these stories into a book or movie. Do some real good.  One last thing (and important!), I got married and have a beautiful stepdaughter.  Things are great.  Remember things always get better, but you have to try and push boulders to clear a path. Thank you all. Love the Dream Team of Rob, Angel Akiles, Big Sexy Sweet Ozzy, Jubilant Josie, Big Daddy Dashing Dexter, and Sassy Sara. God Bless.

My dream of having my dogs at my wedding, came true!

  Picture of Robert's new family with Josie and Dexter in the wedding

To read previous articles by Robert

The Power of a Dog's Unconditional Love: Robert and Akiles
The Power of a Dogs Unconditional Love: Part 2 Dedicated to Akiles
Don’t Stop Believing-BIG SEXY Ozzy Trailer Park Boy Chronicles
Don't Stop Believing-My job with Ozzy was over

Edited by Julie Bradford